Monday 29 December 2008

The end is near (with more than 1 meaning)

So... 2008 draws to a close and I will share the main points of a sermon that I heard, when I unashamedly attended City Harvest Church's sunday Expo service yesterday.

Here are the main points.

1) Don't look back at old sins that were already forgiven
2) Don't look back at old defeats that get you down
3) Don't look back at old conflicts that make you bitter
4) Don't look back at old victories thinking you have arrived

That actually sums up quite a lot of problems in our lives. As the year draws to an end, we usually look back. But why do we look back? What are we looking for?

I found myself reflecting quite a bit as the sermon progressed.

With regards to point 3, he mentioned that someone he heard once put it quite simply.

'Don't nurse, curse or rehearse. Release it to to God, and He will disperse'

which we kinda all know but find hard to do. It is quite a nice way to phrase it though.

LAB REPORT
Sermon took no longer than half an hour? At least it felt that way.

Takes me longer to get to Expo but its a shorter service.

Food choices really suck but I guess sermon trumps food anytime.

Lights were turned way down in the Expo hall so it felt like nighttime.. Kinda messed up my internal clock for a while. Good lights and effects though. Singers had awesome voices. Songs had extremely meaningful lyrics.

Pastor Kong actually dressed up like a teenager for the sermon. Which is a bit of a finishing touch, but it hints at the amount of thought poured into the thing.

No crazy words / abstract themes. Biblical truth blasted straight into life's problems. Again and again. Fast and furious. Didn't feel like my time was wasted.

SUMMARY
Good experience, will definitely visit often.

Monday 22 December 2008

Don't worry, He'll be back..

Everything went according to plan...



Merry Christmas!

Sunday 21 December 2008

Updates

Coffee fast has been very good so far, which means a 100% total abstinence.. but i sense very little brain difference.. maybe thats not much of a dependence.

Time to up the experiment.

sigh.
i hate myself.

NO ALCOHOL UNLESS I'M WITH FRIENDS. which means. no alcohol alone in my room.

I'll probably regret this. but. ARGH.

Okay. so the beer and the vodka will go into my sisters' room for storage.

And I hope to report good news soon.

I've been too lazy to start the fitness thing. Sigh. I shall do the situps now, and make myself run tmr.

Onward.

Thursday 18 December 2008

Birthday presents

Some of my church friends pooled their money together and bought me a gaming keyboard!

To be quite honest I feel quite poser using such high end gaming equipment and still being extremely lousy at DoTA. But it does feel quite comfortable and it has a really nice feel about it.

So I guess I'm really a Razer fan right now. They make good equipment, and I hear the Singapore distributor (Ban Leong Enterprises) is quite nice about changing your gear if it happens to be a manufacturing defect.

So far my Razer gear consists of a Razer Krait mouse,

















a Razer Exactmat mousepad,















and a Razer Lycosa. (in full glow mode)

















A pity one is orange and the other is blue. But I like the Krait. Its cheap haha. I even have a spare one in a cupboard in case the one i'm using dies. But that shouldn't happen anytime soon. They even sell replacement teflon feet for the mouse so you can just replace the teflon when it wears out.

Oh wait i'm supposed to talk more about the keyboard. Well theres a touchpanel on the side for your music program. You can set the buttons to work with iTunes, WMP, Winamp, or a few other programs.. When that's done, you just touch the 'Play' symbol to run your program. There are also volume touch buttons and the 'next track' 'previous track' touch buttons.

The touchpanel.

















The light button bears some mention. The keys are darkened at first, so when you touch the lightbulb logo, the WASD keys glow. This is for games like counterstrike and other FPS games.

WASD mode.

















Touching the logo again causes ALL the keys to glow blue, which is what you see in the first keyboard picture above. Touching it a 3rd time causes the lights to go off, leaving only the usual CapsLock, NumLock and ScrollLock lights.

Its quite pretty in the dark, but i don't usually do any computing in the dark.. My eyes are messed up enough haha..

All in all, a GREAT product. Something I wouldn't buy for myself cause I absolutely need to be convinced of its functionality before i slap down that kind of money. And I havent seen any display pieces for me to fiddle with. But it works great, its comfortable, and its kickass cool.

What more could a techie want?

:)

Holidays

Now that my exams + IPPT + wisdom tooth extraction phase I + YPM camp is all over, I finally taste the holidays.

I have since
1) Rearranged my room
2) Gone for a buffet
3) Bought a second hand electric guitar for 100 bucks (it doesn't sound too bad actually)
4) Bought clothes (including a pair of Levi's. They have a promo going on . Do check it out)
5) Cleared some junk from my room
6) Went for Karaoke


I need to
1) Think about Christmas. (not the philosophy of Christmas. I need to think of what i'm going to do for Christmas.)
2) Settle my internship nonsense.
3) Plan my next few weeks
4) Find out about paintball :)

So far so good...

Oh yes.
I am declaring my fast from
1) coffee
2) needless internet
3) too much sugar
for this holiday period

I will also resolve to
1) run 3 times a week
2) do 30 situps a day
so as to get 400 bucks from the gahmen. I got 200 bucks for my silver.. But as the song goes.. THERE MUST BE MORE THAN THIS. So i want my money. :D

By the way today is day 4 of my coffee abstinence. You guys can note my behaviour and tell me if it helps.

If you guys haven't noted, yes i'm back to fixing things in my life. Hmn. Optimisation problem..

Euler-Lagrange equation anyone?

Onward.

Wednesday 3 December 2008

Its over.

I got a million and one things to do la...

I don't feel exactly very free...

And crap my room is still a mess...

Monday 1 December 2008

LAST PAPER

By right i should be excited and give it a last burst of fire.

But my mind has already started dumping the other modules' information already...

STOP DUMPING MM2 STUFF YOU DISOBEDIENT HEAD.

There.

Much better.

I really have to stop talking to myself. I might start replying someday. (!)

On the bright side there is a serious stack of notes in a pile on the floor to symbolise the modules that are done with...

ok. work work.

Onward.

Sunday 30 November 2008

Decision

Of all the stupidest times to be affected.

I have decided not to be affected by family nonsense anymore.

Some things are obviously not my problem. Obviously not my responsibility.

Shell time.

Shields up.

Disgusted

I have no time for stuff like this.

I have more important things to do.

Seriously.

Monday 24 November 2008

Exam timetable

25/11/08 PM - Fundamentals of Mathematics
26/11/08 PM - Coding Theory
28/11/08 AM - Introduction to Geometry
01/12/08 AM - Modern Optics
02/12/08 AM - Mathematical Methods in Physics II

Here we go....

Friday 21 November 2008

need to live it.

Oh God let me live up to whatever You call me to do.

Let me cling on to the substance of things hoped for, to contain the evidence of things unseen..

Force me to..



onward.

Saturday 15 November 2008

Mathematical lovin'

Today is the day when I am going to proudly announce that I am doing a second major in maths. Attached below is an email sent out by my math tutor for one of my mods.. He's a grad student and the gst below are his initials. Of course, its fictitious, but he wrote it to help our revision???


Hi Jing,

It has been one year since you left me. You really taught me not to take things for granted, I should have proven my love to you earlier. I always take that the fact that I love you is an axiom and you knew it, no proof required but I guess I am wrong.

I am still trying to prove that if i m gst, then i love you.

I realized that a direct proof is quite hard.
so i tried to use a contrapositive to prove it:

I rephrase the sentence to
"if i don't love you, then I am not gst"

I also try to prove by using contradiction
i try to assume that "if i m gst and i don't love you", then something is wrong.

I also try to prove by cases,
Case 1: Assume that I m on earth, ....
Case 2: Assume that i m on mars,...
Case 3: Assume that i m on pluto ... and so on

It really seems that it is very hard to prove it.

I started looking for evidence that I have put in some effort, to prove that I just remember that I gave u special gift with ur name on it on V day every year since i met you. This is enough to prove that I have put in the effort as to show existence of effort, I just need to show examples. Of course, to show that it exists, I don't really have to construct it explicitly. but oh well, since I have some evidence, why not? you told me that it is not enough to show that i have dedicated my whole heart to u though, as i did not attended your 21st Birthday, you claimed that that is a counter example. If I can travel back time, I would try harder to get to you in time. But unfortunately, the hypothesis seems to be false, I can't travel back to the time, since the hypothesis is wrong, it doesn't matter about the conclusion... But anyway, regardless of what happened in the past, it is over now, but i do keep them in memory, as they deserve to stay in my brain, and not on a piece of helpsheet.

I should have go after you like the way I chase element in mathematics to show that a set belongs to another. I could have proven that the set of days that I like you is non-empty by assuming that it is empty and find a contradiction. I should have form Cartesian products of the flowers that i can find in the flower shop and give a bouquet to you. For example, let say we have A={red rose} in one shop, B={blue rose} in another shop, I would have given you AxB={(red rose, blue rose)} to you, I might also like to switch the order too. too bad I was just a poor student back then and I can't afford them.

I like you the very first day I met you, I just need to prove that if I like you on the k-th day, then I will like you on (k+1)-th day. This is the simplest mathematical induction procedure, perhaps it is not that simple to prove it that way. Perhaps proving that if i love you on (k-1)-th day, and k-th day then I will like you on (k+1)-day, for this problem, since I am taking two days backward, I will have to prepare two base cases, like you on first day and second day. Perhaps all these are not enough, perhaps I need to assume that i love you from the day I met you till k-th day and prove that i will love you on the (k+1)-th day. Any method will work to prove that I love you for everyday in my lifetime.

Consider the mapping "is the boyfriend of" from the set of "male" to the set of "female". Since the day u left me, the mapping is no longer a function, as I being in the domain doesn't have a gf anymore. so let's restrict the domain to the set of attached guys and make it a function. There are popular girls which attract a lot of attention and the function might not be injection (why?), by at the same time, there might be girl who are unattached yet which cause it to not be a surjection (why?). You asked me to try those, to try to include me inside the domain and you describe dream of the world that it is a bijection between the two sets so that every human have a soul mate dedicated to them. I sure hope that I am your preimage and I exist and unqiue. If it is a bijection, I hope that the inverse function which exist would map you to me.

You rejected me because you believe that we are lacked of common interest, the way you phrase it is our greatest common divisor is 1 and that's it. But I believe that starting from there, we can prove that we are linked by some integer x and y such that (gst)x+(Jing)y=1 and the condition is equivalent, the condition is so pretty that the converse holds as well. But of course, if possible, we can have more common interest and make things more interesting at the expense that sometimes (gst)x+(jing)y=something else, we cannot say that something else is our greatest common divisor, we can only say that it is multiple of our common interest. Perhaps sometimes we can find out how many common interests we have by using some formula like d(n) and knows it properties well so that we can find the nature of our intests easily. Anyway, at the minimum, we should know well about our gcd, just like if gcd(shangtai,jing)=d, then we should know that d|shangtai and d|jing and furthermore, for any integers, x and y, d|shangtai(x)+jing(y). However, if d|(shangtai)(jing), I can't say that d|shangtai or d|jing though, I need to check that d is a prime before I can do that by applying Euclid's lemma.

I sure hope that something remains in our memory and heart forever, afterall, we have spend a lot of time proving property of remainders. we should at the minimum, know our modulo arithmetic well like how do we subtract, add and multiply and replace equivalence stuff. (forget about divide or taking root as I don't believe that it is legal to divide our love). Unfortunately, you took mod of a prime number, say you took mod 7. and you prove that regardless of whether you are 1,2,3,4,5,6, you can some sort of do some trick to make yourself multiply to a number to form 1 and make you disappear from my vision. For example if you are the number 2, you can multiply yourselve by -3 to form -6 which is congruent to 1 and so on. How I wish you are number 0, then no matter what number is multiplied to you, you will always remain the same.

You called me up last week and ask me how many people should you invite to attend your wedding dinner, given the budget and the cost of vegetarian and non-vegatarian meals. The question sounds familiar, just like that question that we solved together back then. I think we can form diophantine equations and solve it. To solve it, we have a standard formula, but we have to find a particular solution first. we can do so by using Euclidean Algorithm.... I believe you can solve it. =) Congratulations to you. Hope you have a happily ever after life with ur hubby.

Last but not least, I still believe in my axiom.

Your Best Friend from now on (at least I define it to be),
shangtai


WHAHAHAHAHAHAA


Thursday 13 November 2008

You just have to roll with it

So i bring all my gear into the science library only to see that there's no internet access from 7-10pm tonight for 'urgent maintenance work'

What the... Routers don't break down just like that, and saturday is OBVIOUSLY a better time to do this kinda nonsense...

Administration.....

ARGH.

Time to download everything off the IVLE network so I can view all my files offline later...

Friday 7 November 2008

Tuesday 4 November 2008

Vulnerability

In my blogging, and actually in all human relationships, there is a very distinct straining at two opposite ends.

There is a need to reveal. There is a need to show who you really are, and an underlying need to be accepted.

There is also a need to hide. There are some things you don't think you wanna show. Some thoughts, some actions, some habits.

Balancing the two, is probably a delicate art for anyone less than perfect.


The end state is easy to see. If you do spend enough time working on moving ahead towards doing things God's way and living your life right, there will be very little need to hide.

Or rephrased, its easier to reveal and teach when you've aligned your heart and mind. Maybe in a brute force kinda way, its slightly more forgivable to be stubborn when you're stubbornly right..

Exciting!

Onward.

Tuesday 28 October 2008

Counting....

Haha I really gotta put this up...

This morning the prof was talking about Euclid's lemma... and he flashed some picture and said how he came up with some discoveries that we are familiar with.. like Euclidean space, and Euclidean geometry...

and a little caption said he lived during 300BC or around there..

Prof 'So, he lived a long time ago, this is 300BC.... Some people ask me if he is still alive.'

O_O

University undergraduates!

The future of our nation!!!

-_-''


On a side note i have spent an entire day on FF7 to see that it is a very good game but i will destroy my finals if i continue seeing how good the game is. Thus I have put it in a secure place and will keep mugging.

Sigh.

I was THIS close to buying a gamepad.

onward.

Saturday 25 October 2008

The right thing to do

After many discussions, a lot of thought and a sizeable amount of beer with close friends over an F1 race, i have come to the following conclusion.

Some things shouldn't bother us too much

Its that simple.. You shouldn't worry about the things you can't fix, and just work on the things you should be fixing.

It seems that many of us are in a stage where we are re-learning life's simplest lessons.

Hopefully pride will not be an obstacle to our learning......

Onward.

Sunday 19 October 2008

Pressure intoxicates

I feel quite loaded... like seriously with tons of lesson content and technically demanding stuff to ponder through..

But yet I feel strangely good.. like I'm achieving something...

Hmn. Maybe its some self-worth thing.

oh well...

I'll figure this all out AFTER the semester ends....

Till then...


onward.

Wednesday 15 October 2008

Never an ugly sight in geometry

God made all things beautiful......

Descartes' Theorem

If four mutually tangent circles have curvature ki (for i = 1,…,4), Descartes' theorem says:

(1)
(k_1+k_2+k_3+k_4)^2=2\,(k_1^2+k_2^2+k_3^2+k_4^2).

When trying to find the radius of a fourth circle tangent to three given kissing circles, the equation is best rewritten as:

(2)
 k_4 = k_1 + k_2 + k_3 \pm2 \sqrt{k_1 k_2 + k_2 k_3 + k_3 k_1}.

The ± sign reflects the fact that there are in general two solutions. Other criteria may favor one solution over the other in any given problem.



















The curvature mentioned earlier is the 'bend' in the poem below, and it refers to the reciprocal of the radius. (1/r)

The Kiss Precise

For pairs of lips to kiss maybe
Involves no trigonometry.
This not so when four circles kiss
Each one the other three.
To bring this off the four must be
As three in one or one in three.
If one in three, beyond a doubt
Each gets three kisses from without.
If three in one, then is that one
Thrice kissed internally.

Four circles to the kissing come.
The smaller are the benter.
The bend is just the inverse of
The distance from the center.
Though their intrigue left Euclid dumb
There's now no need for rule of thumb.
Since zero bend's a dead straight line
And concave bends have minus sign,
The sum of the squares of all four bends
Is half the square of their sum.

To spy out spherical affairs
An oscular surveyor
Might find the task laborious,
The sphere is much the gayer,
And now besides the pair of pairs
A fifth sphere in the kissing shares.
Yet, signs and zero as before,
For each to kiss the other four
The square of the sum of all five bends
Is thrice the sum of their squares.

- Frederick Soddy

Tuesday 14 October 2008

School sucks.

It does.

Saturday 11 October 2008

Change of focus

Lam 3:21-33
(21) But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
(22) The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
(23) they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
(24) "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
(25) The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
(26) It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
(27) It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.
(28) Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him;
(29) let him put his mouth in the dust-- there may yet be hope;
(30) let him give his cheek to the one who strikes, and let him be filled with insults.
(31) For the Lord will not cast off forever,
(32) but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
(33) for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men.

Thursday 9 October 2008

The Past

Father?

I don't get it.

I really don't.

Should the walls go up forever...

It seems the only way to stop hurting...

I don't have this kind of mental discipline.. I don't have it in me..

Is this a trial?

I am sick of failing.

How do I force myself to forget?

Sigh.

Okay, You're right. I did it before. I forced myself to forget something.

I know its possible.

Maybe I don't want to forget.

Maybe I'm afraid of losing something.

Sigh.

Lord?

Help me see that what I have now is not mine, and what I'm afraid of losing, You already hold in Your hands.

Force me to see that, if need be...

Father hold me..

Tuesday 7 October 2008

Health

My health is seriously taking a beating...

I am finding myself pushing very hard to do my questions, which is a good thing, but it has so far come at a price.. i snap out of my assignments feeling slightly dazed..

Not to mention I'm having some very unfriendly assignments..

Do keep me in prayer..

onward.

Thursday 2 October 2008

Feeling the strain

I think i'm getting a bit cranky..

My room is in its usual mess but I have this insane urge to start cleaning the entire room... And when i say that I mean sanitise, like look for dirt and wipe down all the cupboards and rearrange all my books again....

I think its a sign i'm getting anal..... I really need a proper break after my tests.. But looking at my schedule that would mean i get like... a few hours to myself.. haha..

Onward.

Wednesday 1 October 2008

Combat Action Report

I am pleased to report that I have fought off a bout of flu in 4 days with minimal effects.
-
--
---

Flu was diagnosed based on the patient observing a mucus colour of olive green on day 1 (saturday). Possible misdiagnosis due to green mucus appearing only in left nostril for entire duration. Infection judged to be present.

Treatment was based on a combination of multivitamins and vitamin C supplements. Vitamin C dose was 1000mg on day 1, followed by 2000mg on each subsequent day. On the subsequent days, the 2000mg consisted of 1000mg timed release and 1000mg of Redoxon.

Symptoms were alleviated, the harshest of which were a slightly hoarse throat and a mild headache. Symptoms may have been aggravated by the patient drinking one pint of beer at Rifle Range Road whilst eating rich foods such as satay, chilli crab and watching F1 cars fly around a track. However, patient has had a history of attempting to eat more during bouts of illness. The feast may have had contributed to the treatment. Beer may have had an antibiotic effect.

More research follows.

Wednesday 24 September 2008

Silent Support (Thats you!)

For some weird reason my blog counter hits have been soaring like crazy.. (I really should change to another blog counter, since this one resets itself whenever I break the 2000 mark or so..) But seriously.. I don't even think my life is THAT interesting haha...

But if, in the off chance that its not a tech defect, then there are people who read my blog, and thank you all for praying, for hoping along with me or just popping in to take a look.. I really appreciate it, and i'll try to spruce things up at the end of the year.

Anyhow.
I've mapped out some things in my head.... seems that there is a time and season for everything.. and some things must be put aside for the greater good.. It seems that God is not yet finished with me, in a lot of areas. (Which, by the way, is not a good thing to claim... It means something like I messed up, got retained and am now in remedial and supplementary classes....) So right now its really a time of going back down to basics. Obedience. submission, and worst of all, faith.

I hate faith. I absolutely hate it. From the time I was young I needed things to make sense, or to put it a different way, I needed to be able to convince myself of things. I think we all can identify with this.. But its not easy to convince when you are trying to be objective.. Every statement you make, you ask yourself if you are sure..

Faith kinda contradicts the being sure part haha....

So where does faith come in for me? I think I can understand that God's love led him to make a sacrifice for us. But everything before, is a total mystery to me.

For example, answer the following questions in any churchy way you like, and feel free to imagine me muttering "It doesn't quite make sense..."

Why does He think we are worth it?
Why does He love us?
Did He really make us to be more than what we are now?

These aren't really questions we can answer well without sounding at least a little bit deluded :)
But these are exactly the questions we need to move forward in life. So let us all convince ourselves, that there are things we cannot understand, but they are true nonetheless, and thus spur each other on.

Heb 10:23-24
(23) Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.
(24) And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,


P.S. Please remind me to revamp this blog in December...

P.P.S. I almost stepped on roadkill on Monday morning... The bird was.. fresh. Yes. For the drivers among us, please don't drive over any birds.. I really like my shoes..

Monday 22 September 2008

When the rubber hits the road....

then the shit hits the fan haha...

Shucks I just wasted one hour...

But that doesn't mean I should waste another one...

On to coding!

onward.

Term break

Ah, what will I achieve in this week?

One week of time, leaving one with endless and boundless opportunities....

Perhaps life goes on, one day at a time, one week at a time...

My goal is to master this week, by mastering the hours.....



Onward.

Friday 12 September 2008

Optical illusion

On tuesday last week my Optics professor (who believes you should buy a girl a drink when you ask her to dance.. and the first beverage he mentioned was BEER, then wine... O_O" ) gave us a revision lecture for chapters 1-4

Me 'Eh, if he revises 4 chapters for us, there's no way he's testing anything futher than chapter 4 for the first test'

Colin 'So when's the test?'

Me 'He's never mentioned it.. Lets ask him'

So we go up to him after class and ask him and he says to us (only to us cause we asked)

"Oh, how about next wednesday?"

SO THERE WE GO. at least he had the decency to announce it the next day.. but still.. what the pok.


In conclusion i'm in the science library studying Optics now..

Wednesday 10 September 2008

not good

I think I'm falling ill, with all the frustrating lesson material..

And i'm not up at this time for fun.. I just spent two hours doing one question.

Monday 8 September 2008

Current events

Hello everyone...

I'm in the midst of fixing stuff (again)...

How do I describe the current situation? I feel like i'm in the eye of the storm.. I definitely know things are raging around me, but I feel oddly calm, and collected.

I have recently been convicted, again, that the crux of the entire matter is back again to they endless cycle of humility, submission and obedience... Of what use is the outward talent and gifts if they are not supported by a very real and strong holiness and intimacy with the Lord?

I don't believe in claiming to be someone I'm not..

So its time for fixing... And perhaps when people give of themselves to the Lord's business, in broken submission, revival is not far off.

Onward.

Monday 1 September 2008

crawling

So. There are problems in the ministry, my math is getting insane again and I am actually sensing that I'm getting emotional (which is the rarest of all, sadly).

one at a time then.

who knows what will happen next?

onward.

Monday 25 August 2008

million and one consequences

I've been thinking about a million and one things (again)...

It seems that, in the christian walk, God is always calling out to us and beckoning us to take up the roles and responsibilities that He has called us towards.. And yet it always feels like its so hard to do... but at the end of the day there is this very real and strong hope that God is always providing for us, equipping us. I say hope, but this hope is not a wistful longing, but a powerful confidence that God is who He is.

There is thus no longer any reason to think that we are not worthy, for God himself has defined us to be worthy. Which one of us then has the right to think any lower of ourselves than God does of us, when He is the one who redeemed us.

You were bought at a price.. Don't you think that He would know that price full well, having paid that exorbitant amount for you?

Tremendous consequences.. for words simply cannot describe the full blast I feel when I think of the word 'redeemed'. Funny how we often sing it in songs like My Redeemer Lives, and yet gloss over it..

That hints to me that our mental picture could be extremely myopic. Imagine the raw unharnessed potential of every single believer. But lest we run ourselves in circles, it would do us good to remember that everything has its basis in rock solid humble obedience.

(Joh 14:15) If you love Me, keep My commandments.


---------

Just a reflection more for myself actually... Something I keep having to remind myself about, even though it speaks to clearly to me. Maybe some of you guys can read it, and be encouraged too..

I wanted to post something very nice about circles and triangles that I learnt in my lecture today, but i think it will have to wait... At least until I can find a not-so-boring way to present it...

(Its really cool!)

(really!!)

(i don't think you've seen it before!)

(i'm really tired as you can tell)

I found out recently that I actually consider my room a very protected and secret place.... Its a place where I just shut the door and sit in my fort of a table and work.. However even in the midst of the emotional comfort of my dungeon, I think I will try to surrender all my thoughts to Him.. There's no sense thinking about things that have no real value... Why not focus on Him? (easier said than done but i guess you would understand the motivation for the effort)

So... like so often I've written before...

Onward.

Saturday 16 August 2008

Learning processes

After some deliberation I have decided to blog about how I learn and a bit about how I think. Perhaps this may help some of us.

When I was younger I was kinda pampered and kept in a very safe environment, and things just happened as they did.

When I got to school, however, things came as somewhat of a shock to me, and i had to change my mindset over some time..

Some things I have clarified in my head. The parts in brackets can be read later, as they are a rephrasing of the statements given. This should enhance our reflection.

1) Anyone can be right. (I can be wrong) (So can you)
This is not very evident. We usually dump information from people we dislike. However, we have to clench our teeth sometimes and accept that even people we utterly despise can say something right.

Yes. Any idiot can be right, and if your pride is in the way you will end up looking feeling ashamed or dumping truth.

2) Being right does not mean that people will agree with you. (I may disagree with people who are right)
This is more obvious than statement (1). Many times we KNOW we are right, but some people just don't want to listen. Often, people need to understand why you are right, or 'get' it.

Understanding takes on certain forms.

Some people need logical steps for understanding. Some people are not concerned with logic and are more concerned with emotional support.

It is possible to feel that you 'get it' without actually thinking it through. That means it is possible for everyone to 'get it', agree with you and you can still be wrong. Numbers don't quite matter here.

My point here is to lay out the differences in the way people 'get it'. Not to claim superiority of either one. Equating logic with emotional support, however, can lead to disastrous consequences.

3) Being shown to be wrong does not mean that people can do it right. (Just cause i point out wrong, it doesn't mean it will change)
This has links to (2). Many times when I carry out a task I can see which parts are done wrongly. However, that doesn't mean someone knows how to do it right.

4) Doing things wrong could have some causes, roots and explanations. (There could be underlying causes for my behaviour)
Sow a habit, reap a ........

You get the idea.

5) Doing things right could also have causes, roots and explanations. (There may be things that right someone's behaviour)

Note that (3), (4) and (5) say that if someone shows me that I did something wrong.. it stops there. unless I actually think about why I behave that way and work out the causes for it.

I think this lends clues for our personal growth.

(1) and (2) are very effective when we listen to sermons or talks. Are we taking in the truth?
(3), (4) and (5) are very effective when we have just learnt a lesson. How will that lesson change us?

I hope this makes sense.. My mathematical proofs in school are quite poor, so hopefully it all works out.

Onward.

Monday 11 August 2008

First day of school

I am exhausted..

I hope this doesn't persist..

Thursday 7 August 2008

My room

At long last I finally got down to doing it..

(sorry mandia)


Its in a total mess as you can see.


































My fav part is that the laptop is by the side. This frees up my writing space totally.

On a side note.. I've been thinking very quickly these few days. Its either the massive amount of issues coming along to hit me, or that I'm feeling less stressed and more adjusted.

Perhaps its a mix of both.

School beckons. 5 core mods, 1 gem.

Onward.

Tuesday 5 August 2008

Redang

I didn't say much about this, but I almost lost my phone on my trip!

We woke up at about 7 in the morning after an all-night bus trip, and I groggily followed samson out of the bus, almost tripping on myself, when suddenly I had a mental alarm go off in my head

CRAP!

something's wrong.

what's wrong?

i don't know.

something isn't quite right.


The moment I patted my hands on my side pockets I knew what had happened.. I left my phone on the bus seat..

But to cut a long story short, I had kinda given up on the phone and made up my mind to still have a good time.. We were walking around waiting before checking in when suddenly we spotted one of the guys who was on our bus

"Hey one of you left your phone on the bus right? Yeah its with me wait here.."

whoa. Thats like.. 1 in a million...

I won't spoil the testimony, but I'll just show some pictures.















The wind is amazingly strong on the top deck of the boat, but Calvin's hair is impeccable. Calvin is seriously the coolest man.....
















The great naval general Samson inspects his boat.
















This one doesn't quite need a caption.















Guys before snorkelling
















Girls before snorkelling
















The cool guy (Calvin not me) in action again
















Chilling at the beach listening to the live band















Estella looking like she's about to be kissed by a toilet brush.






























The weirdest ferry ride on the planet, only because of the videos they played during the ride. Yuck. I want to dip my head in dettol.

But all in all it was a great trip.. The sand is really amazing and you'll start to wonder why you even bothered bringing slippers..

If only I stayed in a place like that..

Tuesday 22 July 2008

Off to Redang..

Its been a bit hard to pack.. I don't know.. I probably don't need very many things..

Hmn.

Oh well...

Maybe I feel that there's lots to things undone.. Things to accomplish..

Never mind.... I quote Takeshi Kaneshiro in Red Cliff:

'我要冷静一下'

Probably what I need most right now..

Wish me a safe journey!

Onward

Sunday 20 July 2008

Why is it so hard....

Argh.

I don't understand...

Tuesday 15 July 2008

Everyone makes mistakes

Hello all..

I'm typing this because I was thinking and mulling over something I learnt on Sunday. Basically some people messed up and well, now many people now know they messed up..

As a result of their guilt they have since taken to shying away from everyone, and a lot of us haven't seen them in a long while.. i wanted to say 'As a result of their mistake' but that would be inaccurate. Mistakes don't make you shy away. Guilt and self-pity might be the culprits..


In any disaster there HAS to be an effective way to help. (i believe so, at least) Or at least there are multiple effective ways to help.

(For those of us familiar with the Lagrangian formalism of classical mechanics, this constraint part will sound very similar)

Considering the various circumstances under which the mishap occurred, there are constraints which we have to consider. Perhaps there is a death in the family. Perhaps there is a financial crisis. Perhaps there is a grave illness. Perhaps there is a lack of family ties. The list goes on.

These constraints serve to limit the avenues of approach. Also, they might lend a clue to areas which we have to be sensitive in.



After considering the constraints, we must study the system. What happened?
Is it totally despicably unforgivable?

C.S. Lewis mentions in Mere Christianity that :
'It is a terrible thing that the worst of all the vices can struggle itself into the very centre of our religious life. But you can see why. The other, and less bad, vices come from the devil working on us through our animal nature. But this does not come through our animal nature at all. It comes direct from Hell. It is purely spiritual: consequently it is far more subtle and deadly. For the same reason, Pride can often be used to beat down the simpler vices. Teachers, in fact, often appeal to a boy's Pride, or, as they call it, his self-respect, to make him behave decently: many a man has overcome cowardive, or lust, or ill-temper, by learning to think that they are beneath his dignity - that is, by Pride. The devil laughs. He is perfectly content to see you becoming chaste and brave and self-controlled provided, all the time, he is setting up in you the Dictatorship of Pride - just as he would be quite ontent to see your chilblains cured if he was allowed, in return, to give you cancer. For Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense'

John Ortberg, in Everybody's Normal Till You Get To Know Them mentions that historically there are two categories for sin. Sins of the flesh and sins of the spirit. Regarding the latter:

'Rarely does a church exercise discipline over one of these sins. If you hear a pastor having to leave a church for "moral reasons," you can be pretty sure it's not pride. Churches in our day are not usually scandalised by sins like arrogance or self-righteousness.'

And afterward he concludes:
'We are most scandalised by sins of the flesh. Jesus was most scandalised by sins of the spirit.'

I don't think I'll further the discussion, because at this point it is first apparent that we can now leave all judgment in God's hands, for we are all in no position to throw stones.

This is the time when we get to show the mercy that was given to us. Free.

Onward.

Monday 14 July 2008

Cautiously stalking.... planning...... praying...

I just had a long long talk with my mom.. It appears that the storms are looming darker and closer, but I take heart in the fact that the house with foundations laid upon solid rock may be shaken but remains intact. I don't say this with foolish idealism. I say this staring at a whole bunch of crap, in the face.. It could be that things are not that bad. I would however choose to overdo things and do things with paranoid attention to detail.

I know better, however than to get overexcited and act rashly. I already did that once, with probably disastrous results. I stand by what I said, but i should have refined how I did it.

Pondering about that, I realise that this may be an extremely long process. God change our hearts.

Please do keep my family in prayer..

If you realise, I am not writing this stuff because it is a cool way to blog... i can't honestly say I'm a staunch soldier standing tall in the face of all this. I am kinda trembling for the most part, desperately wishing I could hide.. But I sense God's hand in this.. even though I never claim to sense things like that..

Onward.

Friday 11 July 2008

Nerve-wrackingly-drained

There are times in your life when you KNOW you can't handle certain things. Some things are beyond your power to comprehend, let alone change.

On the outside you shudder and shake, and you swallow past a parched mouth, and try to stand tall.

On the inside you start to wonder whether its all worth it.

But in your head you you hope. you cling on to what you hear.. that it is all worth it.




I'd like to ask all of you to keep my family and I in prayer, as I probably begin the most craziest project of my life...

I want to make an effort to repair my family.

And I guess that isn't even the right way to phrase it...

I don't know.. Right now I have this insane adrenalin rush, where I want to fix it all with my bare hands. But at the same time this mad amount of grief where i wonder how things could have gone so wrong.

I am afraid. I really am, because I have no idea how this all will turn out.. It will probably be no big event or anything of that sort.. but I pray God changes hearts, hopefully starting from mine..

Sunday 29 June 2008

Powerful sermon

Today, Dr Tan Kim Huat from Trinity Theological College came to speak on Galatians...

Gal 6:7-10 MKJV
(7) Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he also will reap.
(8) For he sowing to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But he sowing to the Spirit will reap life everlasting from the Spirit.
(9) But we should not lose heart in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not faint.
(10) So then as we have time, let us work good toward all, especially toward those of the household of faith.

Wow.. It was a good lesson and it will probably stick with me for a long time..

I can foresee myself obsessing over this and pondering for a few days haha...

Onward.

Tuesday 24 June 2008

Happy Birthday Lisa

I hope you had a wonderful birthday!

I guess you will probably never read this, but I'll still write it..

May this new year of life reveal joy and life abundant...

Best of wishes to you.....

Monday 16 June 2008

NS affairs

It seems that God is up to something, in the area of my NS appointments..

:)

I just got a call today from the army.. Turns out I now have a unit.. (finally)

I now belong somewhere! (Looks like I won't be needing my helmet much)

Saturday 14 June 2008

《鸽子》

Warning - emo overdose...

I bought the 杨宗伟 CD!


















For those of us who don't know, he's a guy who took part in the 绝对 Superstar competition in.. Taiwan i think..

He didn't win cause he quit halfway.. Apparently he lied when he put down his age in the application forms and so he pulled himself out..

But his performance was... well... you can see it for yourself la..


新不了情


背叛

Thursday 12 June 2008

back from the dead

Hello world... Its been a loooong time since i posted.. and yup its the holidays!

So far i'll be brief since its weird to blog after so long..

Things that have happened since my exams ended:

1) I got my results back.. They're just so-so.. I shouldn't be surprised.. The path i chose is an insane one... Lets continue to push the envelope. (SADISTIC SMILE)

2) I have eaten a lot of buffets! Too many, actually.. I should seriously start running often...

3) I have started doing some reading... I now know partially why my grades are like that... Soooo many gaps in my understanding...

4) Gotten slightly moody, and now better again.. Some things come in waves, and i guess longtime readers will know what i'm talking about.. But no worries.. I'm in control.. (well you're not really in control when a mood hits you, but you try to claw out of it and THEN you are in control)

5) Most importantly, gotten rested and relaxed... Maybe too relaxed... I'm starting some simple plans.. Lets see if they take off...

Onward.

Friday 23 May 2008

I have a new connection!

After many months of putting up with a crap internet connection I have made the decision to switch to starhub..

And its extremely easy to even set up a wireless connection!

You just set up your router first, and make sure your security settings are done. You just have to set to DHCP automatic configuration (I'm using a Linksys WRT54G). Then just switch it off, and connect it to the cable modem. Switch both on, and everything works!

I should have been on starhub years ago.....

Thursday 22 May 2008

Undead Assault 2

I am half proud to say that I have introduced a game to church people, called Undead Assault 2. Simply put, it involves a team of up to 11 people holding out against a horde of zombie invaders.. Variations in the game include difficulty settings, and there's also a mode called Umbrella mode, where your team (the US Marines) have to try to control the sector despite Umbrella troopers' interference (read that as: kill the troopers and stay alive).

As you play the game you get to save and load, so you retain experience and unlock different classes, so you get to play as a medic, machine gunner, cyborg, forward observer.... the list goes on. So its kinda fun. Choosing the right classes lets you complement your team and succeed in the mission better.

So far its a good story, but the last time I played with CHURCH people, there was swearing going on, and I mean people swearing at each other. This is disgusting. I did not introduce the game so that we could swear at each other. Why is swearing while playing an e-game more acceptable than swearing while playing ping pong?

If i get the same amount of swearing while playing with church people compared with playing with people online, i will just play online. The next time i play on lan, i will leave the moment i hear swearing again.

Gy. Sgt boingboingboing

Monday 12 May 2008

What signifies the end of the semester?

For some of us, its the exact time you walk out of the exam hall for the last paper.

For some of us, its the moment you go watch a movie with your friends.

For me, its the time when i burn all the files i used onto a DVD and keep it in a cold dark place....

What about you?

:D

Wednesday 7 May 2008

Today's the day!!!

Today's the 7th...

The rollercoaster ride is ending...

Thursday 1 May 2008

Family Day

It was kinda fun, in a way, but also a let down in a way..

But i'm glad i took part, overall? It was my motivation to be running even through my studying.. And it kept me from getting sian.. Although i think for future family days i will just go down for a fun jog and nothing more.. I'm getting too old for this kind of intense stuff...

My motto for this semester is "看开一点". Yes. You don't get marks for stressing, but you get marks for showing your understanding. So rather than spend time freaking out, 看开一点, and go have a nice cup of tea. Then as you sit down, ask yourself "what else do I not understand?" Then attack your notes relentlessly.

Anyhow. i think i injured my left arm pushing off the 100m..

Pausing to think on the train made me realise that i have a million and one things to do after my exams, so thats kinda fun as well...

So remember, kiddos... 看开一点, or its NUS (No Use Studying)..

Wednesday 30 April 2008

WOOHOOOOOO

My 5th May paper is MCQ!!!!!!!!!

i was expecting to write like 4 essays or some nonsense like that..

Sunday 27 April 2008

And let the papers begin...

28th April

2nd May

5th May

7th May

You know the feeling when you've just strapped yourself into a roller coaster and you know you have no choice other than to go ahead with it?

:D

Here we goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Monday 21 April 2008

Classical Mechanics Test 2

All thanks be to God..

To be honest i was quite unsure of how things would have gone.. My friends seemed to prepare much faster than I did.. I was scribbling my help sheet up to 2-3 am in the morning.. (thats the pretty help sheets you saw in the previous post..)

I don't think I deserved to do well.. But God gave me peace...

I hope to push this mindset all the way into the final.. And gun for an A..

Can't really say how surprised I am.. But really really thankful...

Onward.

Monday 14 April 2008

All the way!!!

Dear friends...

Its now a full scale assault on the finals!

Just finished my final term test...This is the armament that I brought in today.. Its the same A4 sheet... jut double sided..































That, my friends, is the product of MASSIVE kiasuism, a bad memory and the professor teaching more than the previous year's professor...

I'm now going for tze char dinner.

MUAHAHAHA. MAD SCIENTISTS NEED FOOD.

Sunday 13 April 2008

Ongoing training

No injuries!


Yay!

I really don't know what else to put here.. so...









Time to mugmugmugmugmug......

Friday 11 April 2008

Fun in the lab

I used to think the stuff IN the lab (experiments) is okay, the stuff AFTER lab (aka reports) is horror.. But then there's viva..

Well for my labs i have to do viva, which is a question and answer session with someone (nobody knows what it stands for or how its supposed to be spelt so don't ask me).. In year 1, an Honours year student will come over and ask you stuff during your lab session.. For year 2, its a prof, and you go up to the prof to ask for viva... So since the prof is intellectually and technically superior to some undergrad, it gets a little more tricky, and hazardous...










Enter the engineering student.

Now, with no disrepect (yes Glenn, that was for you), physics students don't really like engine students.. for my batch, at least.. they get the better math lecturers when we take the same foundational math courses, the foundational math courses are more tuned to them than to us, they get more employment opportunities, and generally we absolutely hate the depth and rigour we have to deal with every time we see a derivation.. so we take it out on people who don't have to deal with the stuff we have to.. haha..

But as I was saying, enter the engine student.. and this guy actually took my experimental physics module! Engineers must take some basic physics courses, so it doesn't take very many modules to complete a physics minor. BUT HE TOOK LAB! Come on... there are other disgusting modules in physics to choose from.. My friends all hate lab module, by the way... it really eats tons of time.. you don't have to mug for it though.. there's no exam, just viva and a presentation at the end..

So this guy, goes up to this prof with THREE reports and wants to do viva for all of them. It is generally accepted that you NEVER go up to a prof with more than one report to viva at once. Unless you're running out of time, and deadlines are approaching, people sometimes do two. But as a guide, reports and your explanations to profs are usually riddled with little errors. And profs can get quite irritated by things like this. Imagine making mistakes, pulling out another report.. and then a 3rd? And when you make a mistake, you just accept it and say 'ohhhhh i see' unless you think the prof is trying to trick you and test if you know your stuff.. then stand your ground.

I walked into the lab that afternoon at about 3pm ready to do viva, but the lab was totally silent, except for ONE voice. Some prof was talking.. Viva! Some engineer was there.. I went to my friends who were reading at the old sofa near the white board... and they said :

"He's been there since 2. He's gotten eleven 'you are wrongs"

It was 310pm. In the space of 70 minutes the prof had yelled at him ELEVEN times
'YOU ARE WRONG!!!"

I think it takes quite a bit to get a 'YOU ARE WRONG' I did three vivas with that guy but i've only gotten so far as a 'no no no... thats not the way to do it..'

To be fair, not all the engineering students doing lab ended up like that guy.. He was just one example.. My friends in physics had quite a few 'YOU ARE WRONGs" too.

But.

90 minutes. 13 occurences.

That HAS to be a record.

Tuesday 8 April 2008

Deleted Post

Ahhh... How we love decisions..

I deleted the last post because the information conveyed was sensitive.. But if you saw it, you saw it. If you didn't see it, you'll find out soon anyway ha..

If you're part of the group of people who the last post was for, then do me a favour and not mention it? Its not due for release yet..

Remember, brace yourselves for impact!

Hell week

Sleep deprivation... sucks...

Sunday 6 April 2008

COS FAMILY DAY 2008

WHY WHY WHY must it be in the middle of my examsssssss....

Thursday 3 April 2008

It is finished.

Returned her the stuff I need to return.

Its now time to store away the things I need to store away..

I wish memories would just fade faster..

Thursday 27 March 2008

Attending a talk

As I blog this I'm sitting at the back of a LT with a cup of free coffee, waiting for a talk to begin.

'Recent developments in measurement-based quantum computation', by Hans J. Briegel of the University of Innsbruck and IQOQI (Institute of Quantum Optics and Quantum Information), Austrian Academy of Sciences.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooookay.

Lets see how much I can 'catch'..

Gosh half my profs are here..

Wednesday 26 March 2008

Glad tidings

Hello everyone..

A nice update... of the 3 midterms I've had so far, two were quite good, and 1 not so good.

And the essay I handed in I got a B+.

All glory to the Most High...

Onward.

Monday 24 March 2008

The Return of the IBMac

Heyhey, my laptop is back! and yes they changed the motherboard..

So I should be able to abuse it anew.. But I take good care of it, I leave it on all week and subject it to a full antivirus test every weekday night at 2am. Not to mention its always nice and hot since my laptop cooler is at home. Okay maybe thats why its dying haha..

Anyhow its back to assignments and homework and tutorials and whatnot..

Oh yes. Plan for holidays, zhng the room (again). This time, mega-table under the bed. People like Mandia should know what I'm talking about.
Then I can rearrange the books and stuff..
Then, I can install the symbol that represents all of academia.



The one.
The only.
The White Board.



And all will fear me!


Maybe the laptop withdrawal has taken its toll..

Tuesday 18 March 2008

What the pok...

Haha i finally happened everyone... My laptop fan went nuts with a really angry growling sound today, so I shut it down and started it up again.. But then it went BEEEEPBEEEEPBEEEEP!!! and the screen was black and said two words

Fan Error.

And then the thing shut down.. So I brought it to the service centre.. and it will be back in a few days I think... On a good note, my friend had the same problem and they changed his entire motherboard! woohoo..So lets see what happens.. I doubt that they will clean all the gunk inside.. So they should change it!

Muahahahahaha.

One of my USB ports is loose anyway..

Hopefully it comes back soon.. I might have stuff to print..

Sunday 16 March 2008

Friday 14 March 2008

Lunchtime post

Well its not exactly lunchtime.. Those of us in uni will know that lunchtime isn't really a constant.. Its more like a function of (homework/assignment due dates, time-you-wake-up, what time you had breakfast)

So I'll just define this lunchtime thing as the time I feel awake..

The past two days have been insane.. Not in the sense that I had a million assignments.. Its just that I had an extremely heavy burden on my shoulders.. I'll get to work on handling the situation.

This is just a shout-out to show that I'm somewhat still in control.. Although I sense that I stoned a bit this morning, and I was very desensitised to external events right after the email.. Not as bad as what I experienced before, but still detectable.

Onward.

Thursday 13 March 2008

Alarms

Okay I think I'm starting to get hit by a wave of depression..

Will take steps.

I see now

Maybe knowing what the Bible says doesn't mean you can apply it.

1Co 13:1-13 MKJV
(1) Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I have become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.
(2) And though I have prophecies, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so as to move mountains, and do not have charity, I am nothing.
(3) And though I give out all my goods to feed the poor, and though I deliver my body to be burned, and have not charity, I am profited nothing.
(4) Charity has patience, is kind; charity is not envious, is not vain, is not puffed up;
(5) does not behave indecently, does not seek her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil.
(6) Charity does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth,
(7) quietly covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(8) Charity never fails. But if there are prophecies, they will be abolished; if tongues, they shall cease; if knowledge, it will be abolished.
(9) For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
(10) But when the perfect thing comes, then that which is in part will be caused to cease.
(11) When I was an infant, I spoke as an infant, I thought as an infant, I reasoned as an infant. But when I became a man, I did away with the things of an infant.
(12) For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall fully know even as I also am fully known.
(13) And now faith, hope, charity, these three remain; but the greatest of these is charity.

What do gifts do, if not used in love?

Wednesday 12 March 2008

What the.

I will now fume and rant. So I'd appreciate no tags regarding this. Prayers are definitely appreciated...

Why does cold hard logic seem so inadequate when you deal with people..
Every time I apply my mind to something I seem to leave out the most obvious and the most trivial.

How come it is so easy to hurt the very people you don't want to hurt.
How come it is so easy to destroy something you want to repair.

How come I have to receive that mail tonight, when I have a test tomorrow.

Does trying to do the right thing, in an emotionless way imply a fresh wave of pain? Or is it simply impossible to shut out the emotions in doing things right, such that the pain was simply the thing I was trying to avoid?

Lord please change me. Let me do things right. Please. Please. Please.

Wednesday 5 March 2008

Accident

Ooops I broke a cuvette today in the biophysics lab... I had to wear latex gloves, and i made the mistake of trying to wash two at the same time, and when i turned them over to drain the fluid one dropped into the sink with a sickening crash.. They're not very big, but it just shattered...















The moment I dropped it i went 'oh crap..' and my lab partner was quite surprised i dropped something two inches and it shattered..

The lab demonstrator went 'what happened???'

'Er I dropped one.. Does it cost a lot?'

She was quite wide eyed, then went to get another one, and told me 'try to be careful, they are expensive..'

No other incidents occured, but when i came back to my room and told my roommate he was quite O_O. 'er mel the ones in the biophysics lab aren't made of glass or plastic.. they're made of pure quartz cause some glass and plastics interfere with fluorescence spectroscopy.. one cuvette costs like 300 bucks.'

O_O

Good thing they didn't charge me for that...

I think I'll stick to pendulum bobs..

Monday 3 March 2008

Forgiveness

In Tenderness He Sought Me

In tenderness He sought me,
Weary and sick with sin,
And on His shoulders brought me
Back to His fold again.
While angels in His presence sang
Until the courts of heaven rang.

Refrain:
Oh, the love that sought me!
Oh, the blood that bought me!
Oh, the grace that brought me to the fold,
Wondrous grace that brought me to the fold!

He washed the bleeding sin-wounds,
And poured in oil and wine;
He whispered to assure me,
"I've found thee; thou art Mine";
I never heard a sweeter voice;
It made my aching heart rejoice!

He pointed to the nailprints;
For me His blood was shed;
A mocking crown so thorny
Was placed upon His head:
I wondered what He saw in me
To suffer such deep agony.

I'm sitting in His presence,
The sunshine of His face,
While with adoring wonder
His blessings I retrace.
It seems as if eternal days
Are far too short to sound His praise.

So, while the hours are passing,
All now is perfect rest;
I'm waiting for the morning,
The brightest and the best,
When He will call us to His side,
To be with Him, His spotless bride.

Tuesday 26 February 2008

WEDNESDAY NIGHT IS COMING

Haha.. anyone for wednesday night romance?

Friday 22 February 2008

Insane tests day

Yoohoo everyone.. I had a very crazy day yesterday.. with two tests in the morning...

I was close to panicking.. but it went alright..

Classical mechanics was all right.. I actually understand most of it.. It was the thermo test that was crazy..

Lets see how it went..

It was supposed to start at 230, and end at 330. The lecture slot begins at 2 and ends at 4, so of course students will go into the LT and sit there, read, and wait for the thing to begin.. And we'd all expect the prof to say stuff like 'please spread out and don't sit so near each other'.

THIS PROF.

made everyone go to the back of the LT and stand there while he took like 10 minutes to put the answer sheets and questions papers on the appropriate seats.

what the.































AND THEN. we stood at the back while we waited for 230pm.
















absolutely amazing.

anyhow.. i started the test with my mind totally blank.. i was kinda exhausted already.. but i calmed down and things started making sense..

i guess i got lucky somehow.. the questions weren't too killer.. so even though i was still quite blur about a lot of things i could do most of the questions..

all in all, thank God for everything! He rewards those who seek to understand his creation haha..

Now to make the most of my one week break..

Onward..

Friday 15 February 2008

Some thinking

Hello everyone.. Don't worry i'm not as emo as it sounds..

V-day came and went without much ado.. There was the usual array of people dressed up, girls holding bouquets and the lonelier ones not making any eye contact with anyone at all when they walk around on V-day. I made the fatal mistake of going through some of my past emails when I was asleep (yeah i rigged my phone to my laptop's bluetooth so i can actually email in bed as long as my laptop is online).. and looking back at the past hour, I could have plunged into another deep depression..

But the past weeks of discipline and mental stability have helped.. In my somewhat reckless reading, i realised there were so many markers that hinted, or rather screamed that things were going awry.. but those things were masked behind the 'i-miss-you's and the 'thinking-of-you's and the 'of-course-i'll-see-you-next-week's.. and of course there were things i somehow knew would affect us but i just pushed away..

So the long and the short of it is that i guess it still does hurt, quite a fair bit, to remember that i hurt someone i cared for very much.. The cold irony is that each of us are actually able to hurt the ones closest to us, because we matter the most to them.. That is something that i think most of us would agree with straight off, but personally, it will take me a long time to deal with.. Not just in relationships past, but also present and future..

I don't think I will ever be able to forget what happened, the lesson still scars deeply. But this is how consequences are, when more is at stake we begin to deal with heavier consequences... of course, handled correctly we deal with beautiful results..

Where am I in God's plan then? I don't think I really know.. I know that I am learning, that He is making me stronger through everything so far. As with any mistake we make, this one really makes me want to turn back time and fix everything..

But I suppose one of the lessons I took away is that some things can't be erased and rewritten like pencil scribblings on paper..

So many mess-ups. As someone who takes facts as-is, its not a very light thing.. Part of this whole chunk of a mess is learning to forgive myself. Without disrespect to all the people who have told me this, and who have shown concern before, its not an easy thing.. I don't see this as some small 'oops-i-changed-your-wallpaper' kind of thing.. its more like a 'oops-i downloaded-ten-viruses?' kind of thing..

So, it will be irresponsible for me to forget this whole thing.. Telling me to do that won't work.. I won't learn anything from forgetting..

I intend to continually ponder.. And I will understand myself.. and finally get a grip on my own life.

1Co 9:25-27 ESV
(25) Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.
(26) So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air.
(27) But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Right..

Towards Christlikeness.. Onward.

Wednesday 13 February 2008

Deep Discussion

Okay.. I realise its 1am wednesday morning now, but the discussion I am referring to is the one a couple of friends and I had on monday night, that lasted into the wee hours of tuesday morning..

How do you prove God exists? Put a mathematician and 3 physicists in a room and let them slug it out.

It was a very deep and intriguing conversation.. Flowing back and forth between logic and faith, we had a very good time delving through each other's thoughts and arguments and whether certain statements were valid or not..

Through the entire discussion I realised it wasn't really about who was correct or who had the best belief system.. I realised that to build up a Christian belief system from logic alone will inevitably end in a system that leaves out certain parts of the Bible, because things come in that logic cannot hope to comprehend. Faith, hope, and love.

1Co 13:13 ESV
(13) So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Logic cannot build these things from any system.

I choose to base it on Biblical truth. I choose to look for logical consistencies in the Bible, because I believe that the Bible is inspired by a logical Mind. But, as it is written,

Isa 55:8-9 MKJV
(8) For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor your ways My ways, says Jehovah.
(9) For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

We cannot rely on logic alone if we want to have a relationship with God. Logic will allow us to deduce certain characteristics that we think God should have, but it does not help us in building a relationship with Him. The crux of the Christian faith is... faith.

Indeed, there is a limit to what our human minds can grasp of who God is. But the study of His Word brings about refreshing truths, and is always rewarding, bringing us closer to the nature of the Most High.

Friday 1 February 2008

ROOMING PROBLEM 3

SO

i went to talk to 'the man' yesterday. for those of us not in the know, 'the man' is a generic term for anyone of authority, power, or basically THE ENEMY.

so anyhow.. me, the guy who swopped with me (actually a seriously nice guy from china who's super agreeable to everythign so far, including the swop and today's meeting), my physics roomie and the RA went down to talk to them..

and basically it was like some interrogation, they interviewed us all one at a time, asked us for reasons... explained why they have to be difficult.. blahblahblah

AND.

they said they'd give us a decision by next week..

rightttttttt

gosh this is just encouraging people to do illegal room changes.. had i not declared my swop during the room verification, and just pretended to be a guest in the room the request would probably have gone through, and they would have approved this by now..

argh

the price of honesty.

Thursday 31 January 2008

ROOMING PROBLEM 2

As expected... the letter to move back has come...

NO SURRENDER!

I'm going with the RA to talk to the person tomorrow..

Wish me luck.

ROOMING PROBLEM

WHAT ON EARTH.

I now declare a state of war on the Office of Student Affairs..

Those of you who know I'm in hall will probably I managed to swop my room with someone so that I could room with my buddy Jay...

So being good students we of course notified the Office of Student Affairs about the swop.. And the person said that ' I may assist you in this request provided that all parties (including the students in that current room) are to be included in your email saying that everyone is agreeable to this arrangement. '

So we swopped rooms and emailed the relevant 'i agree' emails to the person..

A couple of days ago, there was a room verification, where our Block Resident Assistants (something like a block IC) come over to check our Matric Cards to see who exactly is staying in the room.. And we of course notified the RAs that we put up a request to swop room, and all parties are agreeable.. And of course they wrote it down on their papers that we swopped rooms..

So the papers were submitted and of course the extremely childish OSA had to deny our 'request' to swop rooms because we swopped rooms BEFORE the okay was given. Even though all parties were already agreeable.

Right. And I'm now awaiting an official letter that will probably say 'get your butt back to your original room' even though its like week 3 and i'm super happy in my room with all my friends popping by to chat and say hi and we're solving till 2am in the morning and that kind of masochistic stuff. Thing is, I'm actually happy in my room, and i really don't want to lose the arrangement.

PRAY AGAINST THE BLOODY ADMINISTRATION.

Friday 25 January 2008

morning alertness

wow i'm awake early.. well its before ten and i have no classes..

breakfast - 三鲜饺子拉面 and coffee

woo!!!

hungry hungry hungry

The heat begins

OK.. Now that the 2 weeks of lessons without tutorials are almost done with, (honeymoon period is over) the tempo is beginning to heat up..

For a start all of my fortnightly tutorials are on odd weeks.. Well, i only had a choice for one of them.. but i chose odd weeks not knowing the rest were fixed.. Bleah.. I'm bad at gambling i guess..

But it hasn't been bad.. I've moved into my hall quite comfortably..
















I take the right half.. we managed to clean it up some.. It still needs a massive mopping but most of the dust is cleaned out already.. The guy sitting there is Jay.. my physics pal..

And yes.. I remember promising to work doubly hard, so keep me in prayer, and keep tagging..

Tuesday 15 January 2008

School has begun

School's up!

A new beginning and a new start..

流泪撒种必欢呼收割。

Pressing on..

Wednesday 9 January 2008

2008

Right...
Let's get down to this..

The past year has been a very... intriguing one..
If we get past all the nonsense that I had to go through...

The Lord has been faithful.
In the times that i obeyed, the Lord revealed that there is a reason for His will.
This will be my motivation for the coming year, that I will believe in the joy that will come from obedience..

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.
He who goes forth and weeps, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

-Psalms 126:5-6

My friends have been amazing.
I honestly cannot believe the number of times I have been blessed by the people around me.. I really don't understand this friendship thing.. We have varying degrees of friendships.. Some friends you say hi to only because you saw them coming round the corner, and you can't get away in time... Some friends you smile at once a week cause after the worship some genius has to tell you to go and shake the hands of 5 people before you sit down... Some friends you call when you need help with homework... Some friends are only there for tennis or DOTA...

And yet, this very intriguing system and compartmentalisation of friendships has been slowly moulded into a less rigid system.. The Lord has been revealing that friends are not just grouped into this category labelled 'friends', like parking aunties.. To us we don't really see the parking auntie as an individual, just as a role.. And increasingly this friend thing is more and more an individual person thing.. Its more than how deep you are into this friend role thing. Its a totally different mind boggling puzzle when there is a different person involved each time you interact.

Anyhow, I'm proud to have friends such as you guys.. And how deep this friendship is not really as measurable as I once thought it was..

Thank you ALL for your acceptance, and your time and your wise advice over the year.. Thank you all for talking to me, for listening to me and for thinking (hard) with me in the many things we've all had to go through.. Whether its things in school, things in church or just thingies, those things made up my year, and thank you all..

In writing the above i officially declare here that I feel like a socially retarded person because these are things that young children should have seen in growing up, and not when they are 22.. But better late than never, and we will press on in our growth.

Never give in.