Spoke too soon

Okay, okay...

It is STILL a crazy time.

Matter of hours left...

So much to crammmmmmmmmmmmm......

Mel

Thank you all

Hello everyone...

I have one last paper on saturday and i swear its been a crazy time..

I wouldn't know what I would do without all the little encouragements I get from all of you guys time and time again..

Deeply appreciated..

I think I will do quite badly this semester.. But I will make it up to all of you guys by working doubly hard next sem..

Its the best way I know to thank all of you..

Mel

Erosion

At this point i think it is taking every ounce of mental strength to keep from just breaking down..

I need a break. I need to discipline myself over and over again.. Seems like i keep panicking during exams..

I need a miracle..

Hangover

In honour of my sister's recent hangover episode, I present to you.....



Sinfest..












Mel

Personality test

After much fierce resistance i decided to do the Myers-Brigg personality test, one example of which is here.

Turns out that website thinks that I am a INTJ, which stands for Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging..

Below are the traits that are evaluated through the test..

Introverted / Extroverted
iNtuitive / Sensing
Thinking / Feeling
Perceiving / Judging

Seems like some of the analysis discussed in this article seems to reflect the way I do things.. How accurate is this stuff? Maybe it only works for me.. Maybe some of you can try it out and leave a tag..

Back to work..

Mel

late night thoughts - BGR

As I begin this post i must first say that i am no expert when it comes to BGR. I am not in a successful relationship and I doubt i will be anytime soon. However there are some things that must be said, lest it be assumed that i have nothing to say about the matter.

This post may seem to be extremely personal against one particular person, and full of mud-slinging. I however assure all of you that as i voice my opinions the sword cuts into my own heart as well.

Do I then hold back from saying the truth? I cannot. Because if we were all to hold back from speaking the truth because of our own faults then we would have a diluted and perverted fellowship, each one refusing to confront wrong.

The only way out, then, is to bravely confront the wrong.

I must first talk about emotions.. Emotional neediness. Now.. I'm not exactly the greatest person to preach about the subject. But I will talk about this because it matters.

I'm talking about depending too much on a BGR for companionship. I am talking about repeated BGRs one after another, with no seeming purpose.

I think the cause for emotional neediness is definitely a warped view of relationships. I believe God did not intend a life like that for us. Why would we need to rush headlong into something over and over again, gambling for the 'right' one? What are we looking for? Satisfaction? A rush? Some Hollywood romance scene?

What happens two weeks after the love comedy? Some horror show?

If you're not afraid of the horror show something must be insanely wrong. The very concept of relationships demand trust. And trust involves vulnerability.

Something with great potential for good can cause an equally destructive effect if handled wrongly. Look at all the examples in the Bible. The kings of Israel had so much responsibility.. But usually it boiled down to a 'yes' or 'no' decision. Obey, or sin. The consequences were straightforward too.. And they were kinda huge..

In this case, this vulnerability matters. Humans scar. The world is filled with desensitised people, all trying not to hurt, all trying to care less..

They were vulnerable. They're not vulnerable anymore..

What's the horror show in this case? It could be that someone is be left scarred. Some more, some less. The bigger horror show is the person doing the scarring.

Who's the scarier person in the horror shows? The victim or the perpetrator?

There is a real danger, of falling prey into something you are trying to fix. In order to deal with your emotional needs you try to get into more relationships to get your fix. The person who ends up the most scarred is the one with the warped views..

For everyone else who gets hurt, they will probably be less able to trust, and be vulnerable..

For this person with repeated BGRs?

How long will you repeatedly neglect God's divine Will for relationships?

And indeed, for myself as well. How long will I repeatedly neglect God's divine Will for my relationships in my life?

Amandia and Cara's Birthday! (in alphabetical order)

ok before i forget, their birthday was celebrated on.. weds..

i need to make a birthday list..


oh no lemme check if i took pictures of them both

oops i didn't.. i have videos off my phone.. but i'll figure out how to fix that after my finals..

Anyhow, Fabius and I bought for Amandia (she needs to destress):

6 boxes of fruit tea, all in different flavours..

and for Cara, under the contractor theme:

a hard hat

a lego-ish calendar (you can rearrange the thing every month)

and a photo frame with a window like something from her office


it was massive fun
















haha and yes we packaged the tea in some super super long stick..

ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS.. mandia couldn't stop laughing

before i start cramming

Finally.. my internet connection seems to be slightly more reliable now..

Won't be on MSN cause i deleted it.. I'll be back after my exams..

Now to post some pictures i've been meaning to post for a long time..

Firstly, New Balance Realrun..
































The coolest thing about the run was that they actually printed my name on my tag!! How cool is that.. They gave us all a chip too, to record our time.. I didn't run very fast.. Spent a lot of time waiting for Fabius.. *frown* lesson learnt.. next time we go for runs, we just do our own thing.. it costs too much to be waiting for each other.. Completed 10km in 1:13:25.. which is kinda slow..

Next... Chen Ming in operation
















we were solving maths in the physics lab.. er yeah it sounds weird.. but the lab has an abundance of white boards haha.. and yes sarah the marker comes in handy..

And lastly my latest purchase, the Creative Zen 2GB

















Its only 2Gb, cost me 149.. but its small, and light.. has inbuilt speakers and they have a little stand for you to put the player in, to focus the sound in a certain direction.. cute if you want to use it in the office or something.. but otherwise not really that useful.. the earphones dangling are the Crossroads X3 i posted up earlier.. so far i think Samson has heard the quality.. I should have taken a picture of his face when he was listening to it.. haha.. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

righty.. thats all for an update.. take care everyone.. back to my physics immersion..

We Might As Well Be Strangers - Keane

I don't know your face no more
Or feel the touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a another time
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well be strangers
Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know

The heat is on

Alllright..

Exams start on the 24th of November. Thats in 31 days. NUS kids will know that this is now double digit week.. Week 10.. It signifies the beginning of the end haha..

Lessons aren't over.. but i'm already beginning to mug. This involves cutting lessons that don't help much, and forcing my mind to fully understand everything myself. I think lectures are great.. you can see for yourself how the thing unravels and stuff.. but some things.. you gotta sit down with a book and thrash out the details on your own..

I think for science subjects it means more if you understand stuff on your own, and if you are able to actually explain stuff to someone who has no idea what you're learning. That's what learning is right?

Argh. Blasted material. Need my brain to work faster.

Oh haha on another note.. i went for a run on monday night.. I almost stomped on a frog that dashed out onto the pavement like 3 steps in front of me.. Then it started raining.. ugh..

Being random today.. kinda tired.. i'll try to update more often..

Finally

Okay.. My midterms are over.. for now..
There's still one or two lurking around.. I don't have the energy, or the heart, to check when they occur..

Anyhow.. My Analysis test today was unexpectedly good.. I don't know.. I made mistakes (as usual) but somehow it seemed that the work I put in through the semester started to show through.. and i managed to think analytically (which i suppose is one of the things the module is trying to achieve)

So... Tonight has been spent relaxing.. doing some room clearing.. Doing some thinking, not of the emo kind but of the slow reflection kind.. Its been a good evening..

Oh yes. My coffee ban didn't really work out.. I had two coffees since monday. But those of you who know my coffee addiction would know that TWO is the number of coffees i usually take in a day. So lets keep this going.. I actually feel more awake nowadays.. Thanks for the prayers all...

Mel

P.S. oh yes i went for a run yesterday. my legs hurt.. its been too long.. and yes i went for a run the evening before a test.. oh well it worked out..

BEER!!!

haha many thanks to sarah for sending me the link

BEER!

Mylarone X3

Ok before i go back to work..

The search is over!!!

















I've found the earphones i want.. now its time to just head down to the shop and test them out..

Woohoo!

If anyone wants to get them too now is the time to yell out.. I can make the trip this weekend..

Study study study

Hello everyone..

got some thoughts straightened out so i think i can manage to be stable for a while..

anyhow.. some pictures taken from the library yesterday afternoon.. just my luck.. the first time i decide to sit by the window it rains ha..















But then it got beautiful again....















I was hoping people wouldn't notice some geek taking pictures out the window.. (Like i was taking some pictures of ghosts.. )

鬼啊！！！


But anyhow.. This part of a song came to my mind yesterday..
Who am I?
That the voice that calms the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Okay back to work.. its surprisingly empty in the library tonight.. must be some great conspiracy.. the science library isn't supposed to be quiet and empty. its supposed to be full of muggers.. There's a disturbance in the force.

And i should add myself to the number of muggers.. back to work.. test on friday bleah.. wish me luck!

Psalm 77

I cried out to God with my voice -
to God with my voice;
And He gave ear to me.
In the day of my trouble I sought out the Lord;
My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing;
My soul refused to be comforted.
I remembered God, and was troubled;
I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.

You hold my eyes open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
I have considered the days of old,
The years of ancient times.
I call to remembrance my song in the night;
I meditate within my heart,
And my spirit makes diligent search.

Will the Lord be cast off forever?
and will He be favourable no more?
Has His mercy ceased forever?
Has His promise failed forevermore?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?

And I said, "This is my anguish;
But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High."
I will remember the works of the Lord;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
I will also meditate on all Your work,
And talk of your deeds.
Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;
Who is so great a God as our God?
You are the God who does wonders;
You have declared Your strength among the peoples.
You have with Your arm redeemed Your people,
The sons of Jacob and Joseph.

The waters saw You, O God;
The waters saw You, they were afraid;
The depths also trembled.
The clouds poured out water;
The skies sent out a sound;
Your arrows also flashed about/
The voice of Your thunder was in the whirlwind;
The lightnings lit up the world;
The earth trembled and shook.
Your way was in the sea,
Your path was in the great waters,
And Your footsteps weer not known.
You led Your people like a flock
By the hand of Moses and Aaron

regrets

sorry to be emo..



and yes she was my superwoman..

she's never coming back though.

don't worry.. i'll just take some time.. i'll be alright..

Resolution

I think I need to get a grip on my life...

All the coffee, the listlessness...

the phasing in and out of attention..

COFFEE BAN FOR ONE WEEK.

and i mean it.


my mind seems to now only work in spurts of activity.. i can't seem to muster a slow attentive state of calm anymore.. which is strange.. i blame the caffeine and my lack of trust in God for peace..

drained

test tomorrow...

exhausted..

emotionally empty..

recovering from the flu..

and yet.. not falling apart.. somehow...

It is His strength that sustains. His promises give hope.. His presence that fills completely..

ARGH

i started getting depressed just now.. kept listening to sad songs, and especially 我懂了她 by 李圣杰.. No prizes for guessing what i was thinking about.

Aaaanyhow.. i figured it wasn't going to help. and anyhow i've got at test on Thursday.. Sometimes its not what we're thinking, or how we're affected that breaks us down.. Sometimes its also whether we want to try to act according to our feelings, or whether we want to act in an appropriate way..

I think even after a whole year in uni i really haven't gotten down to serious study.. Serious as in.. to really get to know my stuff, to memorise and to be able to explain things at a second's notice..

That's my goal from now i suppose.. Even knowledge accumulation, is a stewardship.

Keep praying everyone..

Mel

Creation Conference!

Hello everyone... I wanted to post this yesterday, but i was kinda tired..

Anyhow Creation Conference was a blast! It really took my breath away, to see some strong support for Creationist views, when the scientific world is increasingly Evolutionist.

I also got the chance to have a little chat with a Physics professor, Dr John Hartnett.. He gave me his name card and told me to let him know if i ever wanted to do postgraduate studies.. Whoa.. He also said they were always looking for good students.

I wonder if i fit the bill.











But i suppose you guys want to know the REALLY JUICY stuff. The really really fun things that I learned at the conference.

Well for one thing, conference attendees are labelled into 2 types. The faithful and the fallen. HAHA

Faithful - Pamela and my sister

















Fallen - Daphne and Yunhui















If you notice the orientation of the photos you'll note i was in the centre, and the next in line to fall asleep haha.. But to be fair it was one of the physics talks and very few people understood what was going on.. It was also one of the late afternoon talks..

Ok ok... You want the proper juicy stuff.

Well creationism is like.. believing what the Bible says. If the Bible says six days of creation, then creation took six days. If the Bible says there was a flood, then there was a flood. The Bible is the authority.. Whether we understand how it all works out, is another thing..

This makes sense if we think about anything else the Bible says. Take salvation for example. We know God loves us, but we can never really comprehend the extent or the kind of love He has for us.. But we know it is there, and we have that faith that His love never fails.

If we take the Bible as truth, we will take the whole Bible as truth..

This means doing away with explanations like millions of years passing in between Day 1 and Day 2 of creation. There was no reason to believe that anything other than EARTH days were implied in the text..

Wow. so much to know.. You know its like I always believed? That creation reflects His glory. This entire universe is the work of His hands.. This conference is like a booster jab for that belief.

Ok thats all I'll write.. I might write more soon..

Ta..

Mel